"For man, autumn is a time of harvest, of gathering together.
For nature, it is a time of sowing, of scattering abroad."
- Edwin Way Teale

This post began with a thought of deep inner sighing - not of sorrowful sighing, but of joyful, filling sighing. The type of sighing one experiences when seeing something beautiful. I love the colors of autumn leaves. They bring deep joy into my soul.
I remember a year when I carefully filled a bag with autumn leaves from my driveway, praying over each one as I did. I gave the bag of leaves as part of a birthday gift to a special friend. What I was giving her that year was a piece of my heart - of my joy - and of my prayers.
I cannot think about beautiful autumn leaves and be sad - just can't do it!
So I ponder...
Then I found the above quote, and my heart leapt within me. A time of sowing and scattering abroad.
The Kingdom of God is like that.
We are always to be sowing and scattering abroad - the love of Jesus - His Word as encouragement or challenge to others.
In a season that seems to point to the coming "death" of winter, I see possibility. I see already the coming of spring with its new life. And I know that just as nature is preparing by sowing and scattering, there is a sowing in the Spirit in these days...
So do not see death - see the possibility of Life.

A Voice in the Desert...

Psalm 112:1,2
Praise the LORD.
Blessed is the man who fears the LORD,
Who finds great delight in His commands.
His children will be mighty in the land;
The generation of the upright will be blessed.

I've done a post on my two oldest children. It's time to introduce everyone to momma's "baby" - my Abigail - "Abigator" as many affectionately call her.
Abigail has always been quiet - until recently. She is blooming and becoming quite a voice in many ways! As a matter of fact, just a few days ago, I had to ask her to please speak more quietly as she was literally hurting my ears.
Abigail is one that didn't talk much until she was more than two years old. But why did she need to? She had these big brown eyes and the sweetest spirit about her that all she had to do was look at someone to melt them. So much was communicated through who she was. I remember the first time we went to Wilmington, NC to visit my Uncle David and Aunt Myra. Our oldest two were invited to spend the night with them, but Abigail was not quite big enough yet. Matthew was probably 10 and Katherine 8. That left us alone in the car with 5 year old Abigail. What happened was magical! At one point, she began to talk and didn't stop. Both Jeff and I turned around to get a good look at this chatter-box that had suddenly appeared in our back seat. WHERE had she come from?! What we discovered was that she was a deep thinker who had lived so long in the shadow of her older siblings that we'd never heard all she had to say.
But the story doesn't really start there. As Christians, we all want to know our purpose on earth - our calling - our gifts. Yes, we are all meant to glorify God in a general sense. But there is a special expression that God has given each of us in bringing Him glory. With Abigail, God pointed out that special calling before she was talking - at about the age of 2.
I vividly remember she and I being in my closet hanging up clothes. Well, I was hanging up clothes while she sat at my feet looking adorable as usual with those big brown eyes. Remember, she was a late talker, and at this stage she rarely said anything at all. As I worked, I heard this quiet voice below me saying, "Power of God. Power of God." She repeated this over and over again, and in that moment the Holy Spirit showed me the call to deep intercession that was upon her life.
More recently, Abigail has been struggling and wanting to know the call on her life. She's been frustrated, but she has persisted in asking God to show her. A few weeks ago, the Lord graciously revealed to her that calling - one of being a voice for her generation - one of intercession for the lost and for those who are not serious about their relationship with God.
And Abigail has found her voice! I am hearing things come from my daughter's spirit that are deeply passionate for the Lord, and as a mom, I could not be more excited or pleased. This is what I long for - that my children will walk with God.
That brings me to introduce you to Abigail's blog. At 13, she is articulate and passionate and that comes through in her writing. Please take the time to visit and read...

http://abigailkear.blogspot.com/

Bring Back the Laughter!

The last several months have been hard for us in many ways. I had major surgery. Our son moved out to go to college. My husband's business has not been doing well, so money is tighter than it has been since we first got married.
I'm the type that tends to shut down when things are hard. I withdraw into myself. I spend more time being quiet. I hone in more sharply to my relationship with God.
But this time, one thing has been different. I've forgotten to laugh with my best friend - my husband Jeff.
We've spent too many days now in quiet - trying not to say all the things that are troubling our hearts. Therefore, we've not talked as much in this season as we usually do. And I've missed that talking.
If I'm going to tell anyone anything, it's going to be Jeff. He usually hears way more than he'd probably like to! But lately I haven't wanted to put my worries and fears on him, because I know he has enough of his own. So I've kept it all tightly bottled inside.
Last night was different. All of our children were gone. Matthew is home from college, but was out with his guy friends for guys' night. The girls were at dance class. We sat down to eat dinner - a vegetable beef soup made entirely from Sunday's left-overs. And it was really good too!
Just before dinner, Jeff and I were talking about an article I'd started reading in Reader's Digest. It was about a family who decided that for one month they would spend nothing. Yes, they paid the house payment, bought only the bare necessities in groceries - things like that. What they did not spend on was sometimes quite hilarious; sometimes quite practical.
For example, wouldn't you know that their tub blurbled up with this black goo just as they'd vowed not to spend money that month. So what did they do? They looked up home remedies on the internet of what to do in such a case and fixed the goo themselves - pirating the neighbor's internet signal!
The man got up early and read his neighbor's newspaper, returning it before he ever awoke.
Their poor 4 year old son was getting bored - used to outings with Dad to get ice-cream, play games, etc. So the dad excitedly asked if the son wanted to go ride in a silver chariot and eat food and look at neat stuff. The son excitedly yelled - yea! Where did he take him? To the local Costco to ride around in a shopping cart, look at the neat stuff, and eat free samples!
We were totally cracking up at this point! THERE was the laughter I had so missed. It filled me like nothing else can.
Then we pondered - as we've been doing the last few weeks - while this is funny and this family probably makes a nice income and can afford to "play" at this, we have had a need recently to cut back on as much as we can. What could we take away from this article in a practical sense - beyond our laughter :)
Well, you know what? I can "pirate" my parents internet - they're just next door. And I tried it too! It was really slow... I'm so spoiled.
I can borrow their newspapers when they're done with them - and this I know they won't mind at all as my dad puts them in the recycle when he's read them.
I took stock of our cleaners this morning. We're pretty good there, but if it comes time to buy new cleaners and money is still tight, I know I can pirate my parents internet to look up homemade cleaner recipes - HA!
More than any other thing though. I'm so thankful to the Lord for restoring my joy. Today I am excited, joyful, have new and creative ideas for survival in tough economic times. And I have my best friend back - most important of all!

He's Coming Home!

No, he's not coming home forever - just for a visit.
That's what grown sons do.
We must be especially blessed, because I hear from my other friends with college-aged children that their son or daughter gets only two days off for fall break.
Matthew will be with us for nine whole days!
I'm anxiously awaiting my hug...

My Favorite Time of Year

Autumn is my favorite time of year for many reasons.
I love that first cool “nip” in the air.
I love the first hint of color while the leaves remain on the trees – especially the red of the dogwood.
I love the possibility of snow, and that certain scent on the breeze.
I love s’mores on the first fire of the season.
I love the renewed energy I get to simplify by removing unused items from our home.
I love the holidays with their special foods and opportunities to gather with friends and family.
But for some reason, and maybe it’s because I was in Cambodia for two weeks, this autumn season sort of sneaked up on me.
I left East Tennessee for our trip to Cambodia and we had warm weather. The weather in Cambodia was unseasonably cool, yet was in the upper 70’s at night and low to mid 80’s during the day.
So imagine my surprise when we landed back in Knoxville and I felt the need for a jacket!
As I said, I somehow missed those tell-tale signs of autumn. Was it because those signs came in those two weeks while I was gone? I’m concerned that it was because I’d been too focused on other things to notice the time of year – the season – that was approaching.
Is my life like that also? Have I failed to notice the season I’m in at different times? I’m sure I have.
During our time of worship this past Sunday, we sang songs about the Lord’s return – about seeing Him – about dancing on golden streets. And while that should be a joyful thought for the Christian, I found myself overwhelmed by thoughts of the lost. I found myself physically grieving for those who do not yet know. I wondered – Would they be ready? What if the Lord came today, or tomorrow? Would my Uncle David and Aunt Myra, for example, be ready to meet the Lord Jesus Christ face to face? I was afraid the answer would be “no”, and my heart was broken. I couldn’t even worship in that moment, but instead found myself in intercession for their souls.
Then I was reminded of how Jesus came to earth the first time as a humble servant. And I was reminded of His return, which would be in a much different manner of His first coming. When he returns to the earth, He will come in judgment. Will He find faith on the earth? When He comes again, it will be too late for repentance. Are we spending time repenting now? Before it’s too late? Oh my heart aches…
In Matthew 25 one finds the parable of the ten virgins. All ten of these young ladies had lamps with oil. But only five of them brought extra oil, signifying to me a true relationship with Jesus Christ – one that cannot be shaken by worldly trials or even by materialism. These five ladies were prepared for the coming of the Lord, and once He did return, there was nothing more that could be done for the other five who were not prepared. They were left outside of the feast.
Then one reads the parable of the talents. All of us have been given gifts or talents from God – even those who do not serve Him have gifts. But what are we who do belong to Him doing with what He has given us? Are we effectually burying them and not using them for fear that we won’t do things quite properly? Or are we living in God’s grace, knowing that He will embolden and bless our efforts to use what we have for His Kingdom? What will our reward be when He returns? Will He say to us – Good and faithful servant? Or will He turn His back on us?
Finally, and most heart-rending to me, is the parable of the sheep and the goats. Both thought they were doing the will of their master. But only the sheep had actually captured the heart of their Master by hearing His voice, loving not their own lives, and doing His will. They did His will for His glory.
The goats? They did good works. They did nice things. But for who’s glory? Their works were for either their own glory or a misguided attempt to earn the Master’s approval. We cannot earn His approval.
The Word of God is clear in that Jesus said, “I am the Way, the Truth, and the Life, and no man comes to the Father except through Me.”
Lord, draw the hearts of those I love to Yourself. Work in them so that you will find faith there.
And Lord, work in my heart so that You will find faith… I live for nothing else!