Feeling safe to be honest...

Do I feel safe in being honest because there is probably no one
reading this? Partially :) - ha! But what if someone does
read what I've written? Maybe it will encourage them in their
fears...
A lot has happened since we last "talked". Jeff was praying
a few mornings ago, then mentioned to me that he was asking
the Lord about me going to Cambodia with Katherine. I want to
go, but I know the trip will not be an easy one. Am I "up"
for the trip? Yes, by God's grace, I can do all things.
So now the consideration is for both of us to go. Jeff
talked to our missionary friend to ask if a middle-aged woman
and a 15 year old girl would be of benefit to him in Cambodia.
He said, "Yes!". As a matter of fact, he said they'd been
praying that an older lady would go to help with the younger
girls and their adjustments outside the country - among other
things.
So, am I (are we) going?
We don't know yet.
We just came back from Honduras and will not be sending out
support letters AGAIN. So if we're to go, the Lord will have
to show us from where the money will come.
The last trip was about $6,000 for the four of us that went.
This one will be about $4,000 for just the two of us.
The money doesn't concern me as much as the very long
plane ride does - 20-something hours in the air. I do not
sleep on planes... so I was awake last night for a good while
considering not sleeping on the plane - silly, I know!
Oh well - if it is the Lord's plan that we make this trip, He
will confirm it.
So I wait...
Will you please help us pray?!

My heart is unsure...
Letting go of your kids is sometimes hard, sometimes a
little easier.
Today I'm faced with something that is harder for me.
Our daughter Katherine came to Jeff and me last night
and asked us to pray about something with her. She
wants to make a trip to Cambodia in September with a
team from our church. She wants to submit to our
authority as parents. It wasn't my 15 year old
daughter that we talked to last night. It was a young
woman who is called of God and passionate for seeing
others serve Jesus Christ.
We've known for years that the call of God was on her
life in the area of evangelism and missions. I'd just
hoped she'd be older before she left the country
without me!
Let me back up a little. At the age of 5, Katherine
came to me. I was reading my Bible, having my daily
devotional time with the Lord. Usually the kids knew
not to interrupt, but truth is that when they're little
they do interrupt. And if we're good parents, we smile
and listen to them, knowing that an interruption is no
big thing to God.
She came into the room with an announcement. "Mom." she
said, "In ten years, I'm going to the other side of the
world as a missionary." She was FIVE, so I started to
dismiss her with a laugh. But the Holy Spirit stopped
me short, telling me to listen to what she was saying
because she was prophesying. So we went to the globe
and looked together to see what was on "the other side
of the world." I saw China. But as I looked at a map
of Cambodia again this morning, guess what I noticed?
Yes, Cambodia is directly south of China. Cambodia is
on the "other side of the world".
Sigh... I'm not sure I'm ready for this. I know and
trust the missionary she would be traveling with, but
she seems so young.
Lord, not my will, but Yours. She is yours after all.

I am NOT losing my mind... I hope... :)
Most of you know I had surgery April 15th - a hysterectomy.
It took me about 7 weeks plus to begin to feel better physically.
As a matter of fact, I was concerned that my health would not
be at full strength for a recent mission trip to Honduras with a
team from my church. But God, always faithful, saw fit to give
me renewed strength and health just days before our team left.
But what about my mind?
Ha! It's still a little "foggy". Is it premenopause? Is it stress?
Is it a busy life? Probably "yes" to all.
A friend recently pointed out to me that my mental state is
probably also being affected by the fact that my 17 year old son
will be leaving to go to college on August 23rd. Leaving... gone...
I haven't wrapped my mind around that one yet.
I know he's ready. I know he has heard the Lord on where he is
to go to college, and Jeff and I are both confident this is the time
and the place for Matthew's continued physical and spiritual
education. I'm excited for him.
But I think I haven't come to terms yet with the fact that my
first-born is leaving home. He is going away and will become
the young man God has called him to be. And I will miss him.
I'll miss his smile, his hugs, his silly humor, his gentle way, and
yes, even his aggravating arguing...
I'm sure his leaving won't fully hit my heart and mind until we come
home Saturday afternoon after having moved all his possessions into
his dorm room.
I'll stay busy, I'm sure. I have my husband to hang out with. I'm one
step closer to it being just the two of us, which I do look forward to in
many ways.
I have two more children at home who are in a season of very much
needing their mom - my two girls who are almost 13 and 16.
And as we laugh and say often "WE are best friends!"
But the adjustment will be strange. They will miss Matthew.
I will miss him. Jeff will miss him.
I'll get back with all of you along about November to let you know
how the family is adjusting to having one less member living
here - and to let you know how Abigail and Katherine are
enjoying each having their own room for the first time ever!